Your journey to male submission has started. You create a Twitter, or a Reddit, or a secret Instagram. Then, you follow a few hot FemDom creators to see their content.
In your search, you find the one. She’s gorgeous, and you share so many hot kinks. You have to approach her.
To your horror, her direct messages are closed. She only has one link attached to her profile, so you follow it. An even greater horror appears.
“Minimum tribute $100.”
You can’t afford that for only an introduction!
Plus, you only wanted a quick chat, a discussion, and to see where things go from there. You’re sure that you’d go above and beyond for her eventually. She could probably fulfill your needs in ways that nobody else could.
Such is the consequence of timewasters.
Wasting a Domme’s Time Has Consequences
Special Note: This turned into a ranty-type of post, but I’d like to make something clear. I mean this as a guide. It’s me telling new male subs what not to do. I haven’t been frustrated over timewasters in over two years. The way that I protect my energy doesn’t allow them in my proximity before I pull the plug on them.
Please, focus on the information and not my tone of voice. I’m calmer typing this than it seems haha! *mwah*
Many new male subs start as lurkers. It’s natural for most people to research before diving headfirst into a new interest.
So, they follow female Dommes with similar kinks, like a few posts, get turned on, jerk off, and leave. There’s nothing particularly wrong with that habit. Millions of submissive men do it every day.
The differences begin with the male subs who want more interaction.
If you’re always in a Domme’s inbox, yet getting no replies, it might be time to self-reflect. It has nothing to do with looks and everything to do with one thing:
We can smell when you’re going to waste our time.
Do you want to be in touch with more hot FemDom creators online? Here are a few ways to get that timewaster stench off of yourself.
What Is a Lurker?
Lurkers do exactly that. They follow a female Domme on social media and leave likes. No replies, no shares, no tributes; just lurking and waiting for the next post.
The majority of people on social media lurk. There’s nothing wrong with it. My best subs converted from lurker to spender at some point. I’m happy to continue to post while you wait to take the plunge.
Something in particular does turn a lurker into a fucking menace, though.
What Is Not Considered Lurking?
This is not meant to be a dig at new submissive men who are researching a potential FemDom. It’s for the ones who make logging on a pain.
Their behavior burns hundreds of good Dommes out of the community..
Here’s a quick list. It doesn’t cover everything, but I hope the idea is clear.
The following types may be lurkers. But, it is not malicious, nor does it lead to timewasting.
- Shy subs who are hesitant to approach
- New submissive men who share the same issue
- Those who want to be sure about a Domme before their first tribute.
- People who are doing their research before diving into the community.
Lurkers vs. Timewasters
Timewasters and lurkers are two different demons. While lurkers don’t cause any true harm, timewasters do.
The traits of a timewaster include:
- Entitlement. They believe that everyone cares about their “submission”.
- Too much confidence for being uninteresting.
- Trying to jerk off for free.
- Always chatting, never sending.
- A sense of self-importance that excludes him from paying.
- That same self-importance makes them believe all Dommes want their submission.
What truly defines timewasting is the tendency to chat, reply, and fish for free jerk off material. Rather than shutting up and enjoying, they always show their true colors. They can’t help it.
Timewasters come in many shapes and sizes. One thing rings true with all of them, though. The desperation leaks off of their person worse than a bag of old trash.
Shed the Timewaster Stink by Dropping These Nasty Habits
These are my personal preferences. To know what another Dominant Woman feels about certain male subs, see how she addresses them.
If you suspect yourself of being a lurker, and you’d like to change that habit, here are some tips:
- Did you like a post? Share it.
- Leave respectful comments.
- Being active in the FemDom community does not mean posting bait for free attention.
- Small sends are better than nothing.
- If you’re in a live show, chat.
- If you have a favorite FemDom creator, make it known by giving her what she deserves.
Are you a timewaster? First of all, ew. Secondly, here’s how to rid yourself of that dirty habit:
- Stop saying “hi”, and start introducing yourself properly.
- Stop trying to talk to women for free while using your wife and girlfriend as an excuse. We do not care. Pay, or hush.
- You being owned by another Domme is not an excuse. If you’re in my inbox, you’re spending.
- Getting angry when things don’t go your way gives me the only peak into your character that I need.
- Being burned by a scammer who you sent $15 on PayPal is not an excuse. That’s your fault for not putting in the research and being cheap.
- Don’t send a million questions one at a time. Send it in one, succinct message.
- Subscriptions and coffee sends are the bare minimum, and you do not deserve the world for spending $20.
- Leaving vulgar replies to public posts is not a compliment; it’s a nuisance.
- Sending one or two times, and expecting that to be worth hours of her time.
- Quit messaging Dominant Women with no intention of paying.
- Research a Domme before committing.
Coming up with diabolical schemes for 3 seconds of attention should be classified as a mental illness.
I wish I were exaggerating. Some of the things that desperate men come up with for female attention, I couldn’t think of in a million years.
Do you want to get called out publicly on an account like Timewasting Subs? They’re inactive but still an example for how frustrating this is in the FemDom community.
Do you want your favorite Goddess, Mistress, Domina to stick around? Make her life easier, not harder.
Paying to Submit Is a Privilege
I’ll use myself as an example.
I have a Biology degree with a minor in Psychology. I’m a professional writer with experience in marketing, SEO, and social media management. My online earnings do not stop at creating FemDom content.
Ad-revenue for non-adult blogs, freelance contacts, contracts that could easily be renewed, a large network of peers who’d give me a high-paying opportunity if I asked; my options are not limited.
On top of my skills and work experience, the majority of my bills are paid for. I don’t completely rely on that support, but it adds to my ever-growing wealth.
My point is, I don’t need FemDom for my income. It’s something that I do because I enjoy it.
Why Do I Require Submissive Men to Pay?
There are thousands of submissive men per Domme. Male attention is not a rarity.
Yes, it is a competition. Yes, you do have to stand out from the crowd. No, begging for attention without a tribute attached won’t get you the quality that you desire.
I already have a handful of good boys who make sacrifices for me. They’ve proven to me that they will do everything in their power to worship me.
Why should I prioritize a timewaster over them?
Male subs need to understand the work that goes into Domination.
I’m not only talking about the content aspect. It takes a real effort to remember names, nicknames, birthdays, preferences, boundaries, favorite colors, and to do hours-long sessions.
I am a Goddess. I enjoy praise, worship, offerings, and tributes. Those are some of the few ways to catch my attention. Otherwise, I’m not interested in providing free kink.
You approach me, not the other way around. If you have the audacity to ask for anything at all, be ready to show me why you’re worth my time.
If you don’t want to pay, I suggest:
- Dating apps
- PornHub
- BDSM events
- Leaving Dominant females who require payment alone.
