Yes, I used the word “earn”. FinDom/FemDom is not an experience that men are entitled to… That’s the point of the kink/fetish/lifestyle.
So, you are a submissive man. You’ve decided to approach your first online Domme. How do you earn that opportunity?
As always, your Goddess is here to educate. Listen closely.
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The First Step: Earn Your Place to Chat in a Domme’s Inbox
You want to get to know her so badly. A quick chat would help you figure out your place in her world. You can’t wait to see what you have in common.
Stop right there. What makes you different from the 1000 other desperate submissives in her inbox?
Since you can’t be honest with yourself, I’ll be honest with you. You are not special, and neither is your boner. Before you mass message hundreds of online Femdoms, know that there are consequences.
What could those consequences be?
- Most online Financial Dommes will block or mute you if you do not tribute.
- A Goddess who expects to be brought offerings will also block you.
- That doesn’t mean find every Mistress, Mommy, Lady, etc. with an open inbox… because they will probably block you too.
- Word will spread, and you’ll go from being blocked by hundreds of Dommes to an exponential number.
- We get dozens of messages every day, and most of them are dirt. If you don’t want to be lumped in with dirt… Don’t be dirt.
I see many male subs who’ve been in the game for decades. What’s their main complaint? “I’ve been searching for a new Domme for months…”
Would you like to know why your search takes so long? You’re either blocked by more FemDom creators than you think, being ignored, or not looking in the right places.
Putting in the work for Her is hot, respectful, and expected.
Sending your 5th “Hey” to be ignored yet again is… gross.
Are You Still Reading? Say, “Thank you, Goddess.”
Thank you for making me a better submissive man, Goddess Fiestry~
My hopes are that you take this knowledge and use it to become a better servant. From what I’ve found, the ones who read my words very often become my favorites.
So, I spend time writing about my preferences. This is my feminine nature, presenting myself honestly and allowing you to see snippets of my personality. If your nature is to read, research, and approach properly; we might be a good fit.
—
I’m a reader. I enjoy taking in loads of information. My blog is a way to compartmentalize my finds and use it to my benefit. If I notice a pattern, I talk about it.
That was abstract.
Let me be straightforward.
The Submissive Man’s Urge to…. Control?
It’s natural for a male to take the lead.
This is especially an issue with new submissives. They know what they want, and they’d like to steer the ship. A Domme worth her weight in gold is not going to entertain that mindset.
That is not submission. You are topping from the bottom.
For me personally, that’s a turn off. Some FemDom creators may be into that, but she’s not me.
Elaboration: Male Submission Is Hot. Being a Self-Proclaimed Victim Is Not
I found a few forums and groups full of submissive men. The crowd is mixed: new and old, experienced and inexperienced. But, the patterns stayed the same.
These subs are in an echo chamber, giving each other damning information. Then, they come back to complain about bad Dommes, horrible experiences, and overall failure. Of course, the failure is never theirs. They put all of the blame on FemDom.
Here’s my key takeaway: The burden of proof is the submissive responsibility. There are millions of subs to thousands of Dommes. We have our hands full with plenty of candidates already. You stand out from the crowd.
Look at it this way. You find a Domme with:
- A comprehensive profile
- Detailed captions and/or clip descriptions
- Daily posts – personal and professional
- Really hot pics
- Easily verified via paysites
- A library full of FemDom clips that you enjoy
- Etc. Etc. Etc.
Why are you, as a man who’s expected to put his best foot forward, doing the bare minimum?
A $10 coffee send is hardly the foundation of a successful dynamic. Dumping kinks and fetishes on a Domme like she’s a vending machine gives weirdo vibes. “Hey” does not equal marriage or commitment (an exaggeration, but you get it). You do not get infinite attention because you spent $100 once.
Doesn’t My Way Sound Better?
That’s a rhetorical question.
Of course it does~
Here’s my dream scenario. Only a few men who’ve entered my inbox have achieved this.
Pining and Observing
My greatest experiences have been with male subs who followed me for a while. They know what they want, but they are also concerned with our ability to match.
Approaching before seeing what I want puts the onus of pleasing them on me. And once again, you get what you want when you earn it, and if I decide to give it to you.
While they manage their expectations, they thoughtfully consider mine as well. Approaching too soon wastes my time and theirs, so they decide to quell their urges. Once they see that we are compatible, they take the plunge.
Impulsive approaches are welcome, but you better have a plan~
Approaching Thoughtfully
As a Goddess, “busy” feels so unsexy to me.
So, an inbox filled with trash turns me off. It goes from fun and sexy to actual work, keeping up with hundreds of messages.
Thoughtful approaches brighten my day. There’s nothing hotter than a proper introduction.
My favorite first messages include some or all of the following things:
- Your name and/or age
- A little about yourself
- Why you took an interest in me
- How you’d like to serve
- A tribute with a tipnote thanking me for my time.
*chefs kiss*
Gets me almost every time.
“Hey” is the bare minimum that gets ignored.
Chatting About Kinks, Fetishes, Likes, Dislikes, Etc.
Your goal is a FinDom/FemDom chat, correct?
After a lovely introduction, it’s time to explore. If I decide you’re worth the time, I’ll allow you to share more about yourself. Usually, I open with kinks and fetishes because I do enjoy knowing what you like.
The most important part of this conversation is my expectations vs. yours.
I’d like to know whether you:
- Want to serve me.
- Want to watch my content.
- Would like a quick play/chat session.
- Simply want to announce your presence.
All of these are okay. But, if you lie then you probably will not get what you want.
That’s All~ Enjoy!
There’s not much else to it.
Step-by-step, these are always my most successful interactions. I have solid online dynamics based off of these. The key takeaway is respect. Effort gets you the rewarding chat, session, and online dynamic that you crave.
Earn the FemDom Chat You Desperately Need
Because that’s what drives your will to submit, right?
FemDom is filled to the brim with some of the hottest women on the planet. You want in, right?
Time to earn your place.
You’ve been given the tools. Use them here.
