All new male online submissives have to start somewhere. By some stroke (wink) of luck, you stumbled across my platform. Let’s start off on the right foot.
Here’s my way to educate my potential subs before they dive into the deep end. Read this quick guide for new male submissives, and learn something new about FemDom.
What Makes You Want to Be an Online Submissive Man?
Do you love to please, follow instructions, and be grateful for what you’ve been given?
Or, is your dick hard and you need to bust a quick (useless) nut?
More than likely, because you are doing your research on Dominance and submission, you’re the former. Perhaps you’ve slipped up and pissed your Goddess off, or new to BDSM and want an introduction.
Your email needs more kink. Subscribe to my blog for free updates.
If that future online submissive is you, welcome.
Use Cyber Submission to Explore
Why did I bring up true vs. fake male subs? Submissive Guide uses the term “insta-sub”, and I think that’s the perfect way to describe it.
Is the relationship less valuable just because it’s kinky and online? Absolutely not! The right Dommes put real effort into a relationship, and you should be reciprocating if you set those expectations.
“I’d like to get to know you” should never leave your mouth unless you mean it.
Ready to find an online Mistress and start to explore those kinks?
Here are My Tips for Submissive Men
In this little guide, I’ll share my experiences with Dominance and submission. My pain points, frustrations, and overall disgust for big mistakes that male subs make.
You’re welcome to learn from my words to become a better online submissive man.
You’re robbing yourself of the true D/s experience otherwise.
At the very basis, the frustrations include:
- Fetishist’s who aren’t truly submissive men.
- Building relationships, only for the man to disappear.
- Putting work into Dominating and getting little effort from the “submissive”.
Don’t Be That Guy. Avoid These Slip-Ups
Most inexperienced or new online submissives slip up. Everyone makes mistakes, but first impressions matter. If you come out of the gate doing any of these things, it’s unlikely that a Domme will take you seriously.
Avoid the block. Don’t:
- Be selfish.
- Expect her to dispense your kinks like a drink machine that takes quarters.
- Expect her to be into your fetishes, especially if they’re not listed on her bio.
- Ghost without explanation and pop back up a month later.
- Disrespect her role in the power dynamic.
- Be inconsistent or unreliable.
These are easy mistakes to avoid, but many online male subs fall flat under the pressure. Here’s a quick guide on how to put your best foot forward and avoid being blocked by a Domme.
Find an Online Domme, Research, Then Approach
The first step is to do your research. Then, familiarize yourself with the websites that FemDom creators prefer to use. I’ll also suggest that feature the best BDSM content by amateurs to help you understand the world of Female Dominance.
A Domme providing for online submissives will have a bio and details of her likes/dislikes. Here are things to look for:
- Her age and honorific (Goddess, Mistress, Miss, Mommy, etc.)
- A list of her preferences
- Her “hard no” list
- Content that she has created to see her style.
- Her social media feed to familiarize yourself with her
- Her preferred method of contact (email, contact form, socials, etc.)
You can start with a list of kinks, write “yes” and “no” for what catches your eye, and bring it to your next interaction. It’s that simple.
Money Doesn’t Dissolve Boundaries
As a submissive man, it is your job to prove your worth. Why would she speak to you otherwise? Therefore, it’s common practice with online FemDom creators to send a tribute.
However, many online submissive men have the idea of a tribute twisted.
What a FemDom tribute is not:
- Your guarantee that the relationship will work.
- Your ability to ask for anything and everything, regardless of boundaries.
- A one-time payment to unlock every service.
- A means for endless conversation without extra money.
What a FemDom tribute is:
- A testament to your subservience.
- The first step into serving her.
- Your permission to introduce yourself.
- The only way to get her attention.
- A gift for a Goddess.
- The first act of submission to a Mistress.
- Your appreciation for Mommy.
If you send a tribute and expect a service in return (unless directly stated by the Domme in question), you’ve already lost.
How to Explain Your Boundaries in a Dominance/submission Dynamic
The right Domme asks these upfront. She may also require a safeword, certain actions before or after play, or clarity from you.
It’s your job, even with cyber submission, to respect them.
To explain your hard limits and boundaries, start here:
- Have a list of your likes and dislikes ready to go.
- Express hard limits, and don’t cross them.
- (It’s SO confusing when male subs say that they won’t do something, only to ghost when you actually don’t do it. If you enjoy CNC, you can literally just say that.)
- Know the difference between a hard and a soft boundary.
- Safeword when you need it.
- If you need time away from D/s, let your Domme know.
Dommes Can Tell When You’re Not a Serious Sub
I’m always happy to welcome serious male subs with a real love to please women. There are plenty, and they are excellent to have. The difference is obvious, but there’s always a man who thinks he’s fooling me.
Here’s how I can tell, and how you can do better.
1. Lacking Respect for the Power Dynamic
My boundaries are set in stone, and I’m a brick wall. A male sub cannot convince me to change them. Asking me to do so gets you on my shitlist quickly. Push me, and I’ll very quickly move on to the next man with respect.
2. Poor Communication Skills
If I’m telling you one thing, and you interpret it as the complete opposite or something that benefits your dick, I don’t want you in my presence anymore. That falls under reading comprehension and the ability to understand my words.
I also need to hear your likes, boundaries, and dislikes. If you don’t know what you like, what do you expect me to provide?
3. Committment Issues: i.e. Ghosting and Disappearing
How am I supposed believe you’re serious if you disappear weekly? To me, that reads as unreliable and a waste of time. Why should I bother investing time into you if you won’t do the same?
Fix those commitment issues before you come running back to me in a month, or you’ll get the bare minimum from me too.
4. Lack of Understanding
BDSM safety is insanely important. I don’t feel comfortable telling a man I’ve never met to do something dangerous, truly risky, or illegal. Quit putting yourself and others in precarious situations just because your dick is hard. Consent and safety are essential.
If nothing on this list is new to you, and you’re aware that it’s an annoyance to Dommes who enjoy long-term online submissives, then we might get along. I wonder if we’ll be a match. 😉
How to Serve Goddess Fiestry
Whether or not you’re interested in being my pet, you’re here. I’ll state again that I’m dedicated to training my male subs to be exactly what I need. If you’re interested in learning how to serve straight from the source, here’s your research.
Be thankful; I’m giving you a cheat sheet. *mwah*
- Do our interests match? Hot.
- My paysites are the best way to contact me (favoring SextPanther or LoyalFans).
- Introduce yourself and your fetishes, as well as any other interests. Feel free to tell me about yourself.
- I spend time feeling out your character before entering a session. If I don’t think we’re a good fit, I’ll say so.
Want to get to know Goddess Fiestry? Read about my fetishes.